Q&A With Einstein For Mayor: Everything is Relative.

Categories: Front Page, Open Mic

einstein-tristanQ. Do you have any special relatives?
A. No, only general ones.

Q. What’s your favorite food?
A. Schrodinger’s pet.

Q. Dead or alive?
A. All the same to me.

Q. What about the election? What do the polls say about your chances?
A. I’m the only dog in this race. How can I lose?

Q. How are your campaign finances?
A. You’d have to ask my campaign manager.

Q. Who would that be?
A. Ed not Bombs.

Q. That’s a funny name.
A. I’m a funny dog.

Q. When’s your next campaign event?
A. I’ve challenged the Mayor to debate the Orwellian proposition “Four legs good, two legs bad?”

Q. Speaking of Orwellian, how would you handle the DAC?
A. The same way I handle certain trees.

Q. What do you forsee in Oakland’s future.
A. In about twenty trillion years, I forsee the heat death of the Universe. Though sometimes ya gotta wonder.

Q. Wonder?
A. Oakland’s survived OPD. Can the heat death of the universe be more catastrophic?

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2 Responses to “Q&A With Einstein For Mayor: Everything is Relative.”

  1. Einstein

    Yesterday (March 18) the City Council voted 7-0 to increase canine-American access to city parks, from which they had previously been almost completely barred. They are going to read the ordinance again on April 1st, after which the hated NO DOGS signs will hopefully start to come down.

  2. Einstein

    Also, I want to encourage my peeps to sign up to speak out at next Tuesday’s City Council meeting where the City will consider dramatically expanding both on and off leash dog walking in parks. Oakland has very restrictive ordinances regulating where dogs can be walked, generally dogs are not allowed in City parks, even on leash, and they can’t even legally gather at OGP to demand a redress of grievances. Sign a speaker card here, it is Agenda Item #12:

    Speak up for me since speciests laws prevent me from speaking for myself.

    Another Oakland is Possible!